How to Travel with an Eating Disorder

Travelling with an eating disorder is stressful–whether you’re in relapse or recovery. Your normal foods are not available. You can’t eat at your regular times. You’re not able to exercise like you normally do. It’s hard, I get it. I’ve been there many times, and it was horrible. But you know what? I survived.

My advice is simple. Fuck it. Yes, you read that correctly. Fuck it! Obviously make sure you’re eating enough, but other than that, fuck it. Throw all your food rules out the window, and just eat whatever the fuck you want. Sampling the local cuisine is part of experiencing a culture, so try anything and everything. Does your destination have a signature dish? Get it from several places and see how it differs regionally. Are you going to the beach? Lick an ice cream cone as you lay in the sun. Have you heard about any cool restaurants in the area? See if they live up to the hype. Do you walk by a bakery as you leave your hotel? Buy a pastry to snack on while you explore. Is there a coffee shop near a landmark you’re going to? Sit there with some tea and watch people walk by.

Will you gain weight on this trip? Maybe. Will you lose a couple pounds? Possibly. Will your weight stay exactly the same? Perhaps. Who knows, and honestly, who cares? Travel is a opportunity and a privilege. Don’t waste your time and money working out in hotel rooms and scouring the city for the lowest calorie salad. Go experience the place you’re in. Talk to the locals, visit the museums, shop on the high streets, and most importantly, eat the food. Enjoy your vacation! The memories you make matter so much more than the number on the scale.

“Am I Dying?” and Other Hunger-Related Questions

Hunger is a tricky thing for people with eating disorders. We’ve disregarded it for so long that we forget what it feels like. I, for one, ignored my hunger until it became a perpetual part of my reality. I started experiencing it again in recovery, and I was honestly so confused; I kept asking my dietician “what’s happening to me? what am I feeling? what is this? am I dying?” Today’s post answers these questions and more. Read on to learn about hunger:

Question: What is hunger?

Answer: Hunger is the physical sensation generated by the body when needs more nutrients. It is caused by hypothalamic processing of the hormone ghrelin (lenomorelin), which is secreted by gastrointestinal tract in response to blow blood glucose levels and/or an empty stomach.

Q: How do you know if you’re hungry?

A: We all know about the obvious stomach growling, but hunger can manifest in many other ways, too. Symptoms include a churning, hollowness, or tightness in the stomach, lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting, headaches, muscle cramps, shakiness/jitters, rapid heartrate, exhaustion and fatigue, irritability/agitation, lack of concentration, and even nausea.

Q: What should you do if you feel hungry?

A: Generally, if you’re hungry, you should eat. Exceptions include if you are fasting for a surgical procedure, on a meal plan that dictates your intake times, or have been otherwise advised by a medical professional not to do so.

Q: Why are you hungrier on some days than on others?

A: Hormone, activity, and stress levels can all influence your hunger. For instance, women tend to require extra nutrition prior to their menstrual periods (on account of increased calorie expenditure), and cardiovascular exercise has been shown to stimulate appetite. Growing children will also consume more calories than average, and studies have shown that lack of sleep leads to inversely proportional food consumption.

Q: What if your hunger can’t keep up with your metabolism or vice versa?

A: A healthy individual’s hunger and fullness cues will be accordance with their body’s nutritional needs, and they will eat enough to maintain a healthy weight at a reasonable activity level. Of course, this is not the case for all people; a number of factors including metabolic syndromes, chronic dieting, eating disorders, autoimmune diseases, certain medications, and economic factors can disrupt the body’s natural rhythm, resulting in skewed conditions on either side. In such cases, dietetic services are required to prevent and treat the effects of malnutrition.

Q: How does hydration affect your hunger?

A: Apparently, 37% of people confuse thirst with hunger. This is primarily due to the lack of stomach volume presented by each.

Q: How do you know whether you hungry or thirsty and what should you do about it?

A: At times, hunger and thirst present with similar indicators, notably dizziness, fatigue/exhaustion, headache, nausea, muscle cramps, tachyarrhythmias, and stomach churning/emptiness. Thirst is often accompanied by the following differentials–dark urine, dry mouth, and perspiration. If you are thirsty, you should rehydrate with fluids or eat foods with a high water content (like melon). In the past, dieticians have advised patients to drink water fifteen to twenty minutes before a meal to make sure they are actually hungry, but due to frequent disordered manipulation of this guidance, doing so is no longer a common practice; instead, nutritional professionals recommend you hydrate throughout the day and honour your hunger signals.

Q: What is emotional hunger and why wasn’t it mentioned above?

A: Emotional hunger is a psychological craving for a certain food. It was not included in the above designation, as it is a separate biochemical process. Emotional hunger is a psychological phenomenon while physical hunger is physiological.

Q: How can you tell if your hunger is emotional or physical?

A: While both physical and emotional hunger can make you crave certain foods, they are very different in nature. If your body is craving something, it is because it needs a specific nutrient contained therein; any food containing that nutrient will satisfy it, and your craving will subside. In instances of emotional hunger a food is desired on account of its associations; that food and only that food will do. Emotional hunger also tends to be accompanied by a (typically negative) emotion; it comes on suddenly and does not respond to physical hunger/fullness cues (the processing and secretion of the hormones ghrelin and leptin respectively), leading to an over- or under eating of the specified food.

Q: What should you do if you experience emotional hunger?

A: A little emotional eating won’t hurt you. It’s perfectly normal to celebrate your promotion with a slice of cake or to pick up pizza from your favourite restaurant after a bad day. Just don’t make it a habit. Food can facilitate celebration and comfort, but it is not (and never should be) a substitute for actually dealing with your feelings.

Is there anything else YOU want to know about hunger? Drop your questions in the comments below, and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. Have a delicious day, everyone, and Happy Spring! xo

Our Unhealthy Bodies Can’t: The Problem with Project Heal’s New Campaign

“My Healthy Body Can” is the title of Project Heal’s new campaign. In conjunction with Straight Curve Film, the organization is encouraging participants celebrate their recovered bodies by posting pictures of themselves engaging in various (presumably physical) activities that they are now healthy enough to enjoy. The endeavour and its endeavourees are admirable, but there are some very obvious issues here.

This is a remarkably ableist, exclusive, and offensive campaign. With its tagline, “My Healthy Body Can” this movement neglects and excludes a huge portion of the recovery community–the chronically ill, the disabled, individuals who settled at unconventional body weights, and those with irreparable damage done by their eating disorder. What about them? Their unhealthy bodies can’t. Does that somehow disqualify them from celebration? Does that deprive them of support? Does that discredit their achievements? Does that discount their recoveries?

It shouldn’t. They have had to fight even harder for recovery. Treatment resources are harder to come by, care is more expensive, certain problems are taken less seriously, and every day is a struggle to balance the mental and physical components of their recovery. Some of of them will never recover from their eating disorders; some of them literally can’t.

I am one of those people–one of the unhealthy, one of the excluded, one of the perpetually sick. I will never recover from my eating disorder. I have incurable cardiovascular, endocrine, reproductive, digestive, and metabolic damage from ten years of severe anorexia. I suffered a heart attack that has led to irreversible myocardial tissue death and dangerous tachyarrhythmias, which will only get worse; I do not get periods, have a less than optimal body fat percentage, and can never bear children; I eat a specialized diet of 4000 calories a day, catered to my numerous acquired food tolerances and permanently low electrolytes, to barely maintain a below minimum BMI; I see doctors weekly, exercise daily, and take medications (nearly) hourly to keep my liver running, my kidneys working, and my heart beating, but, despite all that, I will someday need transplants anyway. My body is not and never will be healthy, and because of that, there are many things I cannot do. Maybe you can ride your horses and do your yoga (thank you, Amalie Lee for that gem!), but I’ll be here in a hospital, hooked up to a heart monitor, trying not die.

So, Project Heal, I’ll ask you once again. What about us? I see you’ve replied to your dissenters with a copy-and-pasted link to a tokenistic (phrase borrowed from the wonderful Michelle Elman) blog post, but I think I speak for everyone when I say, that isn’t good enough. Please apologize, please revise your campaign slogan, and better yet, please help us. We want and need, deserve and demand change. Increased support and resources for the minority members of the eating disorder recovery community–for those of us who don’t have the perfect, conventional recovery–are essential. Our unhealthy bodies can’t, but we matter, too; we deserve help, too; and most importantly, we can recover, too.

National Frozen Yogurt Day

“Food holidays” are a rather contentious topic in the eating disorder recovery community. Some people see these occasions–specific calendar days given over to the celebration (and consequent consumption) of certain food items–as detrimental, arguing that they promote binge eating and/or facilitate restriction. I can certainly see this side of the matter; one could binge on the designated food and/or “carb-load” (restrict carbohydrates to “justify” a future surplus) in preparation for the day. A case could also be made that such events sabotage intuitive eating; they could theoretically create a sense of obligation where a patient feels they have to celebrate–that they have to eat the special food on the special day–or conversely, that they can only eat the special food on the special day. These points are valid, and I completely understand where the dissenters are coming from; this just hasn’t been by experience at all.

I, for one, find these “food days” to be extremely beneficial. In recovery from anorexia, it is very easy to get stuck in an limited diet of “safe foods”, and at the very least, these occasions offer variety. They present the perfect opportunity to conquer a fear food in a structured setting; in fact, they may very well be the push you need to move forward in your recovery in that regard. Additionally, such holidays acquaint you with new food items, which, in addition to providing personal enjoyment, nourish your body with a differing array of micronutrients, contributing thereby to an overall healthier nutritional profile.

By no means am I suggesting that you celebrate every food holiday in existence with a jumbo portion of whatever the occasion calls for. No! In fact, I’m not suggesting anything. I’m just sharing my personal experience and encouraging you to find what works for you. Maybe that’s food holidays, maybe it’s not. Talk it over with your treatment team and decide from there. For now, though, I’m going to celebrate NATIONAL FROZEN YOGURT DAY!